I know this sounds really lame, but school IS really stressful!
Between all the loads of homework and friends, AND trying to keep in shape and optimistic, sometimes i just want to curl up in a ball. ahahha not like i feel like that everyday.
Like, on those days that I want to just quit everything and give up, I realize how good I actually have it. Some people arn't actually lucky enough to do all the things I do...so in a way, i am thankful for all the stress.
It sounds weird but that is how i feel about it!   

*_sunkissedsunshine_* I'm really envious of your ability to look at your problems so optimistically. : )
I, on the other hand...I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. I used to be such a good student, but now I feel like I've lost any potential that I had and I don't really want to try anymore because I go to a school with a really gung-ho academic program, and my peers can easily outdo me at practically anything I try. I don't care anymore, because I've made too many irreparable mistakes so far this year, and I don't know what I can do to fix anything.

What I mean by having lost my potential...it feels like there's no hope in being good at anything anymore, because no matter the subject I choose to work in there will definitely be people that will excel in it without even trying (for example - my friend spent the vast majority of a week's worth of physics classes eating and doing other generally stupid things instead of paying attention. He never even brought his textbook to class. The next class, we had a quiz - somehow, he managed to get 19/20 on it. My mark, even though I had looked through the chapter, was pitiful). Even subjects that I relish taking (musical theatre, choir, band) I am always dwarfed by my peers' talent and experience and can't help but feel inferior in comparison, therefore extremely embarrassed.
Lately, absolutely everything has started looking bleak. After about March, I was really struggling not only with my low self esteem, but with my grades - they had started to drop on account of sleep deprivation, poor time management (granted, it's hard to manage your time well when you leave for school at 6:30 am, come home from school at about 6:30 pm, and are too frustrated or tired to do much afterwards), and a general sense of doom or apathy. All the while I absolutely HATED myself for slacking off, but I was still half-heartedly focussed on fixing my mistakes because I was too preoccupied by their very presence, with the past. Eventually, when the year began to draw to a close and it occurred to me how much work I had neglected to do, how much my grades had dropped, how little credibility I had left (how much I had lost this year), I stopped caring. I didn't want to, but I did. So emotionally, I feel worse than usual - as if I have absolutely no good traits to offer as a person, because I haven't been able to prove them to anyone this year (all my recent actions reveal about me is that I am a lazy slacker who can't be depended on, can't prioritize...most of the traits I hate in a person, which only heightens the resentment I currently hold for myself).
Unfortunately, my coping mechanism is to hide from the problem - escape any way possible, whether it be physically removing myself from home to take really long walks, listening to music, playing (amateurish) guitar, writing...never do I return afterwards and get back down to work. I spend too much time pitying myself and feeling pathetic.
I've talked to my school's counsellor multiple times, but it's as if the conversations motivate me momentarily, then drop out of my mind altogether. She wonders if my reoccurring motivational problems, pitiful self-esteem and irrevocably pessimistic attitude have to do with an underlying (possibly medical) problem that can't be solved by her counseling.

great forum.
hi all.

Hello there, XREDXR. How's life?

To the administration: sorry I kind of disappeared off the face of the earth without answering your question. My self esteem has gotten a bit better since my epic crash-and-burn at the end of grade 11, but it's still fairly low. I started grade 12 two days ago and I'm scared to death of not meeting the expectations set for me this year, because I often doubt that I'm smart enough for that.